Money is the Key to Success in Love and Relationships. Psychodynamic Understanding and Treatment of Couple Relationships, Love and Sex
Richard Joseph Wix-Ramos*
Richard Joseph Wix-Ramos Medical Doctor, Specialist in Psychiatry and Psychotherapy (Primasalud C.A, Valencia, Venezuela)
*Address for Correspondence: Richard Joseph Wix Ramos. Av Bolivar de Naguanagua c.c. El Atillo, Piso 2, Oficina 25-26, Edo. Carabobo, Venezuela, Tel: +58-241-871-2437; Email: email@example.com /firstname.lastname@example.org
Dates: 07 May 2018; Approved: 21 May 2018; Published: 23 May 2018
Citation this article: Wix-Ramos RJ. Money is the Key to Success in Love and Relationships. Psychodynamic Understanding and Treatment of Couple Relationships, Love and Sex. Sci J Depress Anxiety. 2018;2(1): 010-021.
Copyright: © Wix-Ramos RJ. This is an open access article distributed under the Creative Commons Attribution License, which permits unrestricted use, distribution, and reproduction in any medium, provided the original work is properly cited.
Keywords: Money; Love; Relationships; Sex
The relationships are probably the main problem facing humanity today, and perhaps has been the main problem for thousands of years, only surpassed by the concern to get food and avoid being killed by animals, other humans or climate. However, anthropological stands that physical attractiveness in men is a strong and athletic man attract women, but is not longer a determining factor for choosing a partner, even an important factor. This explains why we see men with money but very unattractive physically with attractive women. Money ist the most important factor in relationships, social intelligence is important to survive in today’s society, which money is synonymous of great social skills.
The relationships are probably the main problem facing humanity today, and perhaps has been the main problem for thousands of years, only surpassed by the concern to get food and avoid being killed by animals, other humans or climate.
Physical protection a physically strong and athletic couple, is no longer dependent as in the past, now depends on your partner has money, because in such a complex society we live in households, safe neighborhoods with guaranteed money protection.
However, that physical attractiveness in men anthropological stands a strong, athletic man continues to attract women, but is not longer a determining factor for choosing a partner, even an important factor. This explains why we see men with money but very unattractive physically with attractive women (1).
Physically Attractive Partners
Physical attractiveness is synonymous with health and ensuring that the offspring have the greatest genetic chance of survival.
It is completely false that most relationships of couples are happy and have no problems. The incidence and prevalence of marital problems is not known, varies depending on the country, however, if 50% of the population legalize their union through marriage and divorce 50% reported that would leave 25% of the people united in marriage which at least 50% of them have relationship problems, so, only 12.5% of the world population can apparently live happily. Although this number 12.5% of the population seemingly happy couple decreases because of the limitations that occur with underreporting statistical studies. So that at least 87.5% of humans have difficulty interacting with family, this is almost 9 out of 10 citizens of this planet, so do not worry, you are not the only one who has problems in relations couple, actually has about 90% chance that you have had, has or will have in the future problems with your partner (1).
One of the reasons is the way society we imposed, the way how we interact with friends, various superego structures (superego term he used Sigmund Freud to describe one of the components of the psychis in charge to repress and frustrate all our drives, there is a component of the superego with which we are born, it is genetic and another percentage is acquired we imposed by society, religion, school, police, family, friends, etc.) While this superego structures determined the way they relate to such couples is monogamous. This means that you can have only one partner at a time and nothing else, which is unnatural, except for some birds and rodents, there are virtually no mammals that are monogamous, biologically we deal with a partner for the sole purpose of procreation and try to ensure that the offspring has the best chance of survival, which would guarantee our genetic legacy through time (2,3).
Monogamy and conceptually and interpret is the main reason for relationship problems, at least from the point of view consciously, (later i certainly speak to what happens unconsciously) do we really need to be monogamous in our couple relationships? The answer is very simple: no, we do not need to be monogamous in our relationships to be happy. Monogamy does not guarantee in modern society that our offspring is more likely to survive. For man it is vital to be sure that it is protecting the offspring has the same genetic makeup, a man not to venture protect a child who does not have their own genetic makeup, so that monogamy was essential for the male to remain at home caring for the female and children. But today the female does not need a man to his offspring has more likely to survive. The man at home alone makes survival easier for women children. Ease generally it ends being unnecessary and mean suffering for everyone in the family, especially for children and women.
Choose the father of children
The choose should be the male with the best genetics. This will increase the chances of survival of your offspring. So the criteria in order of priority for the father of your children are:
1) An attractive man is physically the most important of all (physical attractiveness is usually synonymous with health)
2) Smart socially (social intelligence is important to survive in today’s society), which has the money for example (the money if it is earned, not inherited, is synonymous with great social skills
if the man’s money is inherited and not generated the same, it is important that at least have the same genetic capabilities of their parents for generating his own and / or maintain that he inherited).
Actually find a men with those characteristics that are voluntary or involuntary donor semen is very simple, that if you do not expect him to stay as a couple.
Get an attractive, intelligent man with social skills (eg money) to link sexual and genitals is very simple for a woman, the challenge would be not to use condoms during sex, so you can have offspring with such men. If the man reuse to have sex without condoms women will have to use some other method to achieve their goal (4).
Really you do not have to have children, it’s just a biological instinct we are born with almost everybody, transcend through genetic legacy, however you can have a full and happy life without genetic legacy (4).
Best time to have children
It is complex, since biologically and medically, some studies show that the best time from a biological point of view is between 20 to 25 years old, but from the point of view serious psychic is between 35 to 40 years old, when the woman is more emotional, mental and economically stable (4).
Women have a hard time both Promiscuous and Polygamous Relationships and Happiness
1) sexual desire in women varies, but in general, according to some studies is 3-15 times lower than in men, so, be with only one man is more than enough for a woman, especially if considering the time you have to invest the woman currently working, studying, raising children, in their own personal care, etc (5).
2) Men set pathologically possessive relationships, generally do not tolerate his partner have sex with anyone else, and the polygamy makes happiness in relationships.
3) Women set like men so possessive pathological relationships, which usually do not tolerate their partners to have sex with anyone else.
4) Likewise, the superego structures in society, religion, the family, some legal systems try to repress polygamous relationships (6).
Women have such low Sexual frequency compared to Men
1) biologically the almost the only reason for sex is procreation, so if that’s not the goal should not be having sex. In humans life expectancy has been increasing rapidly in the last century at a rate of 2.3 years per decade, so our life expectancy was 33 years, a couple of centuries ago, our reason for life is just limited to procreate and die. With the increase in life expectancy at birth, the humanity have begun to rethink our goals in life, is no longer just procreate and then die, now with a life expectancy at birth of over 85 years for countries developed, we have a lot of time to enjoy and be happy.
Luckily we can enjoy sex without having to practice for the sole purpose of procreation, so women have to immediately create conditions to enjoy sexual relations daily and even several times a day.
Increasing the frequency of sexual intercourse several times a day for women is extremely difficult, given their biological predisposition is to have sex only once every nine months (5).
On the other hand, there are mental illnesses that make it harder for women to increase their sexual frequency and practice and promote polygamy and promiscuity.
We have, for example, suffer from depression than 25-60% of humans at least once in life and 4.8% is incurred on a recurring basis (repeatedly throughout life) (7).
It is very interesting that depression and anxiety disorders is caused mainly by relationship problems and at the same time as a vicious circle reverberant, make it harder to overcome relationship problems. Depression decreases in some cases sexual desire and enjoy sex which is one of the most effective therapies for overcoming depression and is harder to be practiced during the illness.
Also we have anxiety disorders with an incidence and prevalence similar to depression and co-morbid world population (meaning that occurs while depression) in some studies up to 60% of cases.
Most likely they felt identified with one or more personality disorders (see end of the paper the diagnostic criteria for personality disorders), anxiety or depression described above, this is basically because the incidence and prevalence of depression, anxiety and personality disorders is very high in humans and although not exhibit enough symptoms to be clinically diagnosed with personality disorders all human beings have at least traits that make it difficult to function happily as a couple.
People with depression, anxiety and personality disorders traits should be treated by psychiatrists, a psychiatrist in a madical doctor after getting his medical degree (6 to 8 years at least) we have to perform a internship (1 or 2 years) and then, graduate residency in psychiatry (3-4 years), so that take between 12 to 14 years at least formal university academic training, sub-specialists such as child and youth psychiatrists have to learn at least a couple of years. It is important to make this clarification since a psychiatrist is the only legal authority that can therapeutically approach a patient with relationship problems, depression, anxiety traits or characteristics of comorbid personality disorders.
Other professionals who treat marital problems are psychologists, family therapists, coach, etc, with academic training of a few months to 5 years and have no legal authority to prescribe medications.
Well, if a person with relationship problems, symptoms of depression, anxiety and personality disorders is evaluated by someone other than a psychiatrist probably can not identify the symptoms and what is worse, will not have ability to indicate treatment drug to increase the ability of people to have a happy life.
So in principle all people with marital problems should receive care from a psychiatrist who can treat pharmacological and psychotherapeutic, after having ruled out any symptoms of depression, anxiety and personality disorders traits that do not warrant medication, people can decide whether to continue care with the psychiatrist or a psychologist, couple therapist, coach, etc.
It is important to remember that even if the person does not need medication, the psychiatrist is a physician and has at least 12 years of formal academic studies to address the problems of couple.
The limiting problem with psychiatrists that are generally few and costs about 300 Dollars per visit on average in the first world countries, while psychologists, family therapists, coach, etc have lower average costs of consultation.
Better Psychiatrist to Treat Relationships Problems
You must understand that no one is perfect, my own psychiatrist is an expert in marriage counseling, viewed by people all over the world, and she has no partner. In the same way, my subconscious could somehow predispose of subjective hobble the therapeutic indications suggest sex in relationship problems. However, despite my psychiatrist has no partner, she helps me a lot to be stable emotionally, affective and so it is always a help. It is also important that it is getting a psychiatrist psychodynamic orientation, I believe we are best able to help people with their relationship problems (8).
Well, if the patient anxiety, depression, will have to be medicated, drug treatment is highly variable but generally the treatment protocols of American and European society of psychiatry indicate SSRIs (selective inhibitors of serotonin re-uptake) they are for example: fluoxetine (Prozac), sertraline (Zolof), paroxetine, citalopram, escitalopram, etc. These SSRIs work in 2-8 weeks so patients should be aware that the treatment is a bit slow and must have patience. I am very fond of fluoxetine or sertraline indicate my patients with marital problems that have depression or anxiety (9).
Care should be taken when using for long periods of time benzodiazepines: clonazepam (Rivotril), alprazolam (Xanax) to treat anxiety of patients, although decreasing anxiety at baseline and patients feel a pleasant sensation, then They are at risk of creating addiction dependence and tolerance. They should be indicated by very short periods of time as SSRIs (fluoxetine, sertraline) take effect. The benzodiacepitas are treatments attack, indicate them maintenance for long periods have very specific therapeutic indications, which must be considered by the psychiatrist who is treating the person with relationship problems (9).
Patients with features of personality disorders are not approved by the FDA (Food and Drug Administration) drug therapy if they only have a personality disorder, but in 40-60% of patients with personality disorders depression, anxiety and other conditions occur together so in that case they should be medicated.
The object relations are important to understand the relationships problems
Objects have libidinal or libido load (a term described by Sigmund Freud) is a kind of energy that we have in our psychic apparatus. That libidinal energy or libido or our psychic apparatus has the bad habit of leaving (cathexis) and placed on other objects. The first objects where the libido is placed is on our parents or caregivers (our mothers for example). Later that libidinal energy is placed on our partners, for example if you’re currently suffering, your libidinal energy is now placed on your partner. Libidinal be placed on your partner (ie you’re in love of hin) and are suffering, it’s the worst thing you can have. If you have the libidinal energy placed on your partner and he deceive leave, that energy that you have placed on hin leave and you will also feel like you’re dying. You feel depressed, anxious, devastated (2).
Overcame the depression, pain and suffering relationship problems
There are two theoretical ways of overcoming depression, pain, suffering, anxiety caused by relationship problems:
The first is the most complex of all, you must: fold back towards the libidinal energy over yourself the energy that you had put on your partner. That energy of your psychic apparatus you placed on your partner and, you must place it on your self again, as if it were a secondary narcissism. Put back your libidinal energy on your self again It’s very difficult and very complex needs many years of psychological training.
Buddhist monks have such libidinal energy over themselves, they do not have children so do not have the libido placed on any children so they do not suffer if children leave home or die. They have not job so have no libidinal energy placed on job, so they do not suffer, or feel anxious if they become unemployed. They have not material possessions, they have not the libidinal energy placed on houses, cars, smartphones, luxuries, etc. So they do not suffer if they lose, steal or may not have material possessions. They do not have partners, so that they do not put on any libidinal energy in couple, so do not suffer from abandonment or infidelity (2).
Live in a complex society without suffering
The idea is that you can interact with objects (children, family, friends, money, cars, houses, smartphones, luxuries and your partner) without putting the libidinal charge on any of those objects, without being attached to any of them, not fall in love with any of them, without loving any of them or anyone, or anything ever.
Your energy, your libido, your libidinal energy must remain on your self and never should put on any other object. Place the libidinal energy on an object means that the energy can leave and that means pain, suffering, depression, anxiety.
Prevent Passing the Libidinal Energy to Objects
It is very difficult, you need years of training for that, especially if the psychic apparatus and the Ego (end described by Sigmund Freud as a component of the psychic apparatus) are weak and therefore has no contention, those people sharing with a partner for some time means that they like it or not, their libidinal energy will be transferred, you will make a libidinal energy transfer to your partner, which means love him.
The second way to overcome depression, pain, anxiety and suffering is an old and known technique and involves removing the libidinal charge to your partner and placing it on a new object relationship. Linking immediately with a new partner. “A nail drives out another nail”.
You can also put libidinal on other objects eg about job, family, children, friends, exercise, studies.
It is essential that people understand that unless the libidinal is placed over yourself or a new objects, it will be very difficult and very slow to remove the libidinal energy of the couple that is causing you distress and thus overcome the pain.
Could help for pain, suffering, depression, anxiety in relationship problems:
Journal of dreams
People must write all the dreams they remember in the morning in great detail in a notebook text, dreams are the royal road to the unconscious Freud said, it is important for people who do not have psychoanalytic training, since it is an excellent way to find out what wants your unconscious and thus to act erotic drives of the same or at least understand and be aware of the instincts, something that in itself is very therapeutic. The dream interpretation (of dreams) is quite complex, must be analyzed by a psychiatrist psychodynamic guidance for the interpretation is as reliable as possible.
People should do 45 minutes to 1 hour of cardio 7 days a week, it may be in the mornings, afternoons or evenings, anytime.
The Important of Cardio
There are many reasons, first they are very healthy from a medical point of view of health for the body, but in addition to this, are very favorable for mental health, increase your cognitive greatly capabilities (healthy mind in a healthy body), but most important of all, they are very favorable for the emotional health of people, as well as during cardiovascular exercise a lot of mediators and substances are released into the beneficial body and mind, just as releases catecholamines, and other neurotransmitters generating an incredible emotional health: serotonin, norepinephrine, dopamine, endorphins, endocannabinoids, adrenaline, oxytocin, among many others. These substances produce a sense of emotional well-being in people, reducing depression, pain, suffering, anxiety and prepares to face relationship problems more easily.
The other positive factor for cardiovascular exercises is to improve your physical appearance, one of the most important factors for happiness in relationships. Physically attractive people have more capabilities that couples who share with them make more tolerant, and allow people to download violent and aggressive drives with greater tolerance to deal with relationship problems.
Physically unattractive people have many more difficulties and their partners are less tolerant with them and therefore suffering in relationships could be higher. This does not mean that attractive people are perfectly happy, quite the opposite, attractive people also have a lot of suffering, that I mean is that the attractiveness treasury is an important tool if you know how to use properly.
People should do some spiritual and religious ritual at least once a week, every religion is good, Catholic, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, etc. Spirituality is one of the main centers of containment of human beings. They have an ideological and philosophical conception that gives meaning to life, that reduces anxiety especially if the person has a weak psychic apparatus. Similarly while practicing religious rituals have social links with others, this is very positive.
One of the negative aspects of religions is that they represent just one component of the superego structures of the psychic apparatus, the structure that is responsible for suppression and frustrated erotic impulses of the id, which causes suffering, pain, anxiety and depression. So it is important that the spiritual link, just take the positive aspects of religion and discard the negative.
Negative aspects of religión
All that suppress the discharge of the erotic drive, which suppress the genitalization, sex, promiscuity, polygamy, orgies, which is creates happiness in people and success in relationships.
So you can practice spiritual bonding but should be aware that no matter what anyone says religious leaders must be convinced that you have to practice downloading the erotic drive, genitalization, sex, promiscuity, polygamy, orgies, which is creates happiness in people and success in relationships.
For people who are atheists and do not believe in religion, it is important to at least have links or philosophical meditation practice, and these energetic new age spiritual practices that are well tolerated for atheists.
All people who want to be happy, have to be financially autonomous, they have to be able to finance itself.
“If a woman is financially dependent on a man, she will be absolutely and completely unhappy, she will have depression, suffering, pain, anxiety, and this will be consciously or unconsciously.”
The economic independence of women is one of the major keys to happiness thereof. This does not mean that independent women economically are perfectly happy, quite the contrary, self-employed financially women can suffer much, that I mean is that if it is used properly is an important tool as physical attraction to achieve happiness. The minimum necessary to meet their basic requirements of food, shelter and health. All additional basic requirements helps increase the quality of life of people, but is not essential. So women should prioritize exercise and physical attractiveness above all other things.
The minimum needed to get a job that meets their basic needs. If you have a doctorate in nuclear physics at Harvard, it is fine, the greater the degree will be better able to sublimate libidinal and enjoy life, but it is not the priority for happiness, is only a supplement and should not be prioritized on physical attractiveness.
Money that should win a Man to be Happy
The answer is complex, but the pragmatic answer is all the money you can. The more money a man has more chances they have to be happy, happiness in man is determined by the discharge of the sexual drive, if couples can have sex as often as possible therein lies his happiness. And money is perhaps the most powerful tool at present for a man to unload their sexual instincts and sex and especially quality sex (good sexual performance and attractive women).
Actually, the money does not give happiness to man, happiness lies in sex, but in society in which we live, money can buy sex, so it is necessary for the happiness of man element.
Men who want to be happy must meet these guidelines:
1) Never marry their partners, marriage does not guarantee sex in relationships, so it does not guarantee happiness. Moreover, from a financial point of view it is much more economical to have sex with prostitutes, that spend money with your partner and your family. Multiple studies confirm the economic benefits of having sex with prostitutes compared to wives or formal partners.
Similarly, sex with prostitutes guarantee diversity, which does not get a formal partner, which should always have sex with the same partner, very boring for men. Sex with prostitutes sexual satisfaction guarantee, since they are professionals for this purpose. In addition sex with prostitutes saves all the effort you have to do in seduction and other social protocols. In addition sex with prostitutes avoids having to tolerate the shock of violent and aggressive drives women that causes suffering in man.
The negative aspects of prostitutes is that they are relatively expensive (always cheaper than couples and wives) but the resource is not free, so that man can not access it whenever they want, so they can not be happy every time they want.
The fact that a man has to pay money to be happy, generates a surge of violence in his psychic apparatus, either consciously or unconsciously.
Women to be happy have to be physically attractive, although physical attractiveness is a genetic predisposition, can do much from the environmental point of view to improve their physical appearance. But besides being physically attractive, women must sexually satisfy their partners as long as your partner required, and most importantly, without sex involving an energy expenditure from man, that is, not having to consume energy in seduction, dinners, outings, discos, cinema, which does not have to spend any money either.
If the man has to spend energy on seduction, generates massive violence in their unconscious and in his psychic apparatus, probably consciously man feel comfortable spending all that energy for sex, but unconsciously violence will generate enormous. Violence that generated the man innocently may present with: infidelity, physical abuse, psychological abuse, verbal abuse, neglect, apathy in the relationship, among many other symptoms. Partner is unfaithful, psychologically mistreats, physically abused, verbally abused, all this is because man had to expend energy for sex.
It is important to understand that because it is unconscious psychodynamic mechanisms, the man does not know why they are so brutal assaults by their partners, it just makes it unconsciously, but consciously think will not. He thinks it feels uncomfortable and unsatisfied in the relationship.
It is important to understand that because it is unconscious psychodynamic mechanisms, the man does not know why they are so brutal assaults by their partners, it just makes it unconsciously, but consciously think will not. He thinks it feels uncomfortable and unsatisfied in the relationship.
It is therefore essential that men never marry, as they will be financially vulnerable during marital problems and divorce. Whereas if they are not married, have more capacity sufficient funds to buy sex with prostitutes and be happy.
The downside to not marry is that women are pushing a lot with this, of course, they seek economic stability with the least possible effort to ensure their offspring better chance of survival. However, the key to men is not giving in to pressure or blackmail, or manipulation, you must strengthen your psychic apparatus and understand that it is always cheaper to buy sex from a prostitute to have to finance a financially stable partner. In addition to the benefits provided by the diversity of many women and the benefits of sexual satisfaction for having sex with a professional in the field. Also, you should not spend energy on seductive something that is extremely humiliating for men. You do not have to tolerate violent and aggressive instincts of a partner, which are very common, women discharge all violence against closer object relationship, which is usually their partner.
If the man must marry because it is extremely necessary, have to do with settlements, and these must be closed capitulations, so all you have before marriage and during marriage, are exclusively of him upon divorce, it is important to note that children have important roles from financially and legally, making it a priority to not have children, this creates economic vulnerability for relationship problems. If man wants children, this must be done after stable this economically, that is, man can spend 30% of their salary in their children (the legal average percentage must give parents their children for meals as different laws in the world), and can even survive it and buy sex with prostitutes. If you do not have the economic capacity of the additional 30% of salary should refrain from having children in order to be happy.
Men seek women physically attractive
Apparently from the anthropological point of view physical attractiveness it is synonymous with health, so that your descendants will have the best chance of surviving and thus perpetuate the genetic legacy. That’s not fair, but life works that way, and you must adapt to it in order to be happy. On the other hand, if it is true, you were not born physically attractive, there is much you can do to improve your physical appearance (1):
The simplest of these is cardiovascular exercise in addition to improving your physical, mental and emotional health, it helps you to improve your physical appearance. You must make at least 45 minutes of cardio 7 days a week. I know that energy expenditure is very high, especially in our society that demands a lot of energy in other areas, but you have to prioritize and this is a priority.
In addition to the exercises, the other thing you can do is diet, a healthy diet that puts proteins and vegetables and not carbohydrates. It costs dieting because the intake of carbohydrates and fats releases certain neurotransmitters such as dopamine in the central nervous system and this produces a very pleasant and rewarding feeling in the reward centers of the brain, so every time you eat fat or carbohydrates you feel fine. Also today’s society generates enormous anxiety is diminished by calorie food intake, so it is not surprising that obesity rates reach about 40% of the world population.
On the other hand in addition to the release of neurotransmitters on the prefrontal cortex, the oral stimulation produces anxiolysis and decreases anxiety from the psychodynamic point of view, whenever we were anxious and we cried when we were young, our mothers fed us, the care of our mothers made us feel protected, which is recreated in intrapsychic conflicts of later ages during periods of anxiety today, so we have to resort to oral stimulation such as food or even without nutritional component as smoking, talking, whistling, singing , nail biting, etc.
If anxiety is uncontrollable during the diet, you should see a psychiatrist doctor for an SSRI (fluoxetine, sertraline) so that anxiety disorder can be handled in the same way and diet is successful. Physical attractiveness not improve immediately with exercise and diet, you should be aware that it is a slow process that will take at least 6 months an lest.
In addition to diet and exercise, the other thing women should do to improve your physical appearance is to dress up, makeup, combing hair, use high heels, men prefer blondes with long hair, so you should dye your hair blonde. Dressing well does not mean that much money on fashion clothing is spent, you can have clothes that highlight your physical attractiveness of the cheapest out there.
Other thing to be happy is undergo plastic surgery, although they are expensive, they are a significant investment for the happiness for women, so they have to work, and all the money from their work must be invested in plastic surgeries. Most importantly, breast implants, orality man recapitulates the transfer of the object relationship of the mother at an early age when she fed him, so that the breast has a fundamental psychodynamic meaning in men. The breast implant must be more than 600 cc or ml, it is that attracts men. Also liposculpture, nose surgery can be performed among other operations.
Physical attractiveness not give you happiness, will only be a very powerful tool to attract men and it is will make you happy. Now physical attractiveness only serves to attract men and increase their tolerance to frustration with women, a man tolerates an attractive woman. And that is enough to be happy, at least briefly, if you want happiness for a long time, is more complicated and we will talk about later.
The other important thing you have to do to be happy is to sexually satisfy your partners. But how do I satisfy my sexual partners? The only attractive Treasury helps a lot, besides, sexual frequency must be that requires your partner if you’re attractive but yours sexual frequency is low that generate violence in the relationship.
Increase sexual frequency
It’s extremely difficult for women, on the one hand they are conditioned to have sex once every nine months during its reproductive stage, and the biological component have psychic elements, such as sexual, generated environmentally repression by the family, the church and society in general.
One things you should do to increase your sexual libido, is take libidinal energy from other objects: job, studies, family. If you remove these objects libidinal energy will give you more libidinal for donning sex, which is really matters in life to be happy. If you are all day studying, working, exercising, taking into account the family, it is clear that you will not have energy for any of libidinal donning sex, which is all that matters.
You should also think about sex all day, reading erotic novels, watching pornography on a daily basis, for as long as possible to increase your sexual desire.
Importantly, the sexual satisfaction of your partner will be without the wear absolutely no energy, you have to give sex to your partner. If your partner has to expend energy to seduction, this will generate violence in the relationship, and that means suffering, pain, anxiety and depression for you.
Sexual intercourse should be done without going anywhere, not spending money, should be cited in his house or your house just to have sex.
Want more than just sex in the relationship
You should not want anything else in the relationship, all that is important and necessary is sex in relationships. But psychodynamic mechanisms of intrapsychic conflict try to sublimate other aspects, the libidinal investment in the relationship, and that means suffering.
Want to talk, share, go out with your partner. No, if you want to talk, you can do with a friend, therapist, to satisfy that need interaction with other human beings. Talk to your partner usually means you’ll cathaxis all violent and aggressive drives through discourse, it makes you feel good to you, but if your partner is not properly trained as a therapist, then the dialogue will increase levels anxiety your partner, deteriorating whole relationship. So it is important to remember: the couple is just to have sex with the minimum expenditure of energy possible, you want to talk can do with friends, stylist, a therapist, a family member or anyone else, but not with your partner.
Like talking, go out with friends, family, but not with your partner, having to go out with your partner implies that he has to spend money and energy, money and energy that he did not want to spend, he prefers keep watching the football game or go out with friends, so women should not go out with their partners, this will only increase violence in the relationship.
A partner just to have sex with the minimum expenditure of energy.
That is exactly you must do to be happy, talking and hanging out with friends and family and be with your partner only fot have sex, that way you avoid sue aspects guzzling energy in your partner and generates an enormous violence relationship. It makes all the sense in the world, is just the new concept you should put into practice as a dogma and ideological, philosophical, scientific and religious doctrine in your life so you can be happy as a woman.
“Your partner is just to have sex, with minimum expenditure of energy, speak out, economic financing, you can get it with others, but never with your partner”
If you demands something do not want your partner, and you can be sure he will not talk with you, nor want to go out with you, he does not want to finance you. Then maybe he will consciously think it feels good conversation, going out and spending money on you, but unconsciously feels humiliated, degraded, assaulted in the most brutal way possible, and it will generatd violence and extreme deterioration in the relationship of the couple.
Aversion to sex, polygamous and promiscuous to be happy
It is extremely difficult to be promiscuous and polygamous wife, although it is biologically, society, religión and laws corret, superego repressed structures, castrated, and thwarts happiness in human beings, and prevents the sexual instincts are discharged, it has been commissioned to create a lot of pain, suffering, depression, anxiety. So the first thing you must conceptualize is that polygamy and promiscuity is right and normal in humans as well as in most mammals and species in the world. As polygamy and promiscuity are not only normal, but in addition to that, they are absolutely necessary for happiness in almost all the relationships.
Understanding that promiscuity and polygamy are absolutely necessary in relationships, then, the challenge is to be able to act these drives without the superego structures of the psychic apparatus generate pain and suffering, when you act, or worse, to prevent it act. There are some techniques that a woman can be promiscuous and polygamous without the superego will generate suffering and pangs of guilt about it. One technique is to get the task of being alone and without a partner start dating several men.
Date a good men
It’s not really hard to leave with men, or with good men, women are culturally accustomed to be seduced, so the same therapeutic technique to date men, is to begin to seduce. Some of the therapeutic indications to relate to men are:
1) send text messages to all the contacts you have on the phone: “Hello, how are you? What are you doing? I’m at home come on over” Or “Hi how are you? What are you doing? Are you at home? I will go there in my car or taxi or public transport” Or “Hi how are you? What are you doing? We will meet in a hotel” (the hotel is expensive, this alone if not available elsewhere).
2) Subsequent to sending text messages to all the contacts you have on your phone, proceed to write to all contacts in other social networks, Facebook, Twitter, emails, istagram, etc.
3) Subsequent to have written to all the contacts in social networks, ask all the contacts in the phone book and social networking, if they have a friend or acquaintance, to which the woman can contact to interact with them.
4) Another meeting with friends, family, coworkers, etc, in groups to continue to expand contacts.
5) At any time, women should ask the phone number to the men, lines at banks, shopping, public transportation, etc.
6) Women should initiate contact, conversation, and then telephone contact or social network inviting them to meet in the house of one of the two, or a hotel if there is no other alternative.
It could gives you a lot of embarrassment, shame, anxiety, feel humiliated when writing to a man”. It is normal for women to feel anxious writing to a man, and take the initiative to be linked, with the fear of rejection in a weak psychic apparatus is common, the humiliation of being despised, so, it should be clear conceptually, the download drives generate satisfaction psychic apparatus, Performing only the drives is very therapeutic, even if the man rejects the invitation of women to bond with her sexually, which she has downloaded the instinct to try to link sexually is therapeutic, even if you feel very bad about being rejected. Another important fact is that at the beginning rejection generates frustrations, but later many rejections women strengthen the psychic apparatus and eventually after many years of rejections, stop being emotionally affect by the rejected and humiliated.
Women are rejected when they invite sexually linked to one man in 20% of cases, according to studies, so that they have a 80% chance that the man accepts sexually bond with them, so even rejection is a matter of concern, which are considered easy, and being humiliated by that, it’s another argument for women avoid inviting men to sexually linked. Whether a woman is affected emotionally because men consider an easy woman, is another sign of weakness in the psychic apparatus, a strong psychic apparatus is not affected emotionally by such external claims, so a woman should strengthen its psychic apparatus not to feel humiliated and emotionally affected by external reviews of others (10).
Strengthen psychic apparatus
One technique was exposed above, it is exposed to constant humiliation, after many years of exposure to these humiliations of society, the psychic apparatus is strengthened (generate callus as they say) and thus not be affected by anything passing externally.
Love shared with several people (distribution of libidinal energy)
Another technique that should be put into practice is the distribution of libidinal on various objects, place a few percent of libido on many object relations, decreases the possibility that the psychic apparatus remain missing, and be destroyed with the subsequent appearance symptoms such as depression, anxiety and suffering. If any of the missing object relations, of course affecting the psychic apparatus, but the percentage of libido is little involvement and will not be as severe as when the whole libidinal (libido or love) are set only on an object (as the couple for example). The main items are:
Women to be happy must dating several men or couples simultaneously (partner means the object is placed where the libido, the libidinal energy, affections and emotions, who’ll fall in love).
Importantly, the basic idea is to maintain libidinal energy about oneself, and should never be placed in any more (remember the Buddhist), however, this does not mean you’re going to isolate you from the world, not to have any attachment to anyone, and thus does not suffer, is quite the opposite, it is able to relate them to objects (individuals, couples, material possessions, etc) but without putting the libidinal energy, without falling in love, without attachment to any kind.
However, it is extremely difficult to replicate the libidinal energy about oneself, while able to relate to objects (pairs), without this meaning the course of any attachment, infatuation, above all, it is more difficult in weak psychic apparatus without containment, since they tend to make massive transfers (transferred to the couple libido).
Repeating to infinity:
“I can not put the libidinal energy to anyone, not being attached, or fall in love with anyone, anything, or my parents, or my family, or my brothers, not even my children, nor to any job or money, or anything material. “
Be clear from the conceptual point of view, you can never put libidinal energy about anything or anyone, at least it is an initial step in happiness.
Being in love makes feel good
The neurochemical mediators (serotonin, dopamine, epinephrine, norepinephrine, endorphins, oxytocin, estrogens, testosterones etc.) generated during the process of falling in love, actually produce an extremely pleasant sensation in people, But the pleasure generated by these chemicals, decreases after six months, until it disappears almost entirely, that explains in part because the start of relationships are successful, pleasant and happy, and then deteriorate, causing anxiety, depression and pain (11).
The feeling of being in love is probably as pleasant as the consumption of addictive substances such as opiates (heroin), however, the withdrawal is even more frightening when problems occur in the relationship, the same feeling experienced by an addict heroin, when you are experiencing drug withdrawal.
So, in spite of the feeling of pleasure with the transfer of libidinal energy on the object (falling in love with your partner), it is very pleasant, in the same way can be very harmful, so you should avoid falling in love of anything or anyone, instead of putting burden on libidinal objects, happiness reside in downloading erotic libidinal drives, that is, sex without involving feelings.
Sex without feelings are not as pleasant as when sex with the person where you have libidinal practiced, however, despite being less pleasurable remains a very satisfying and enjoyable experience, without the risk of experiencing suffering , pain, depression and anxiety you experience when you are in love, and problems occurring in the relationship.
Have sex with several men (applies to different sexual orientations, heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, gender diversity in general partners, etc) to be happy.
Therapy for happiness in women who have sex every day several times a day. Well, I’ve already explained, it is difficult from a biological point of view, by the willingness of women to have sex with very low frequency, however, biology is not the only problem you have, there is a psychological component, where superego structures frustrated and repressed, the attempt to the Id in the psychic apparatus into downloading their erotic drives (sex for example) and thus repression causes suffering, pain, depression, anxiety.
It should be noted, that the repression of the superego, to prevent the IT, can download their erotic sexual instincts, and thus, to obtain happiness, is mostly externally structured by society, ethical and moral standards religion, education, law, etc, and only a small percentage is innate in humans. This generates therapy to ensure that women deliver their erotic sexual drives (have sex) is more successful if it had to fight with an innate superego repression in the psychic apparatus (see figures).
So how do I have sex every day, several times a day (download my erotic sexual drives) with many different men (or pairs) and be happy?. It’s very difficult, but to start, you have to conceptualize ideologically, philosophically, spiritually and religiously, to have sex every day, several times a day, with many different men (or pairs) is moral, legal, normal, adequate, healthy, stated, recommended compulsory in some cases.
Taking as an ideology and philosophy of life, that women have to have sex every day, several times a day with many men different (or pairs), it will be much easier, implement the therapeutic indication to be happy.
The first thing to do is to invite all the contacts are on the phone and in all social networks have sex. It should be noted that some patients during their marital problems have depression, anxiety, suffering, pain, and all decreased libido in most cases, so that women will have no desire to have sex with anyone . Thus it is that to break the vicious cycle that perpetuates depression, anxiety, pain and suffering, caused by the lack of the object where you have placed the libidinal charge (the problem with your partner) and have low libido, sex should be a mandatory task.
It is important to note that patients co-morbid mental illness such as depression, anxiety disorders, mood disorders, personality disorders, substance abuse, etc, must be very careful when indicating they have sex all day, several times a day, with many different men, since some patients make massive transfers, and if patient do not know or can not handle the emotions properly, be counterproductive and contraindicated to have sex every day, several times a day with many different men, so open to wait for their improvement clinic to have sex indicate the manner described above.
It is important to note that women should avoid energy consumption by men, such as eating out, seduction, cinema, etc, or any other activity involving expenditure of energy by man.
A women have sex every day, several times a day with the same man (couple).
A women can have sex every day, several times a day with the same man, but is not recommended as the psychic apparatus is strengthened, since libidinal energy of an object (current partner) it takes off with it is having marital problems and that caused the pain, suffering, depression, anxiety, to place all the libidinal energy on a single new object, this mass transfer is positive since the libido of the object is withdrawn (partner) who is producing suffering, something that is fundamental step to the clinical improvement of the patient with relationship problems, however, is much better than a few percent of libidinal energy on a large number of new objects (couples) is placed, this way is less risk of relapse, if the new partner is unfaithful, abused or abandoned.
So that women should try to have sex every day, several times a day with different men, however, there are some considerations to keep in mind to apply this therapy and achieve happiness:
- First, you must take into account that is not indicated for all patients, patients who are emotional descompensation, with anxiety disorders or co-morbid traits limit or borderline personality should be clinical compensated before indicating this technique.
- Should only be applied to stabilized patients.
- Sexual intercourse should always be done with condoms to reduce the risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases.
- The men who are having sex should preferably be know people, to decrease the risk of aggression from those men.
- In addition, if male, men should tolerate sex is just a chance meeting and in no way represents any kind of commitment on the part of women to him. It should be clarified that it is a timely relationship and will not be repeated, and that man should not insist on reunions of any kind. Thus the woman is sent subsequently be harassed by men.
- If man can not emotionally process the condition that the sexual relationship is a casual and only meeting, she avoided having sexual relations with the man to avoid harassment from the future.
- Women may resort to co-workers or partners of her friends, only when there are no alternative, since they rely on laborious fellow partners of their friends, presents a great risk that the deteriorating employment or relationship with friends.
- Married couples or men are a good choice for casual sex, since it avoids the risk of aggression or harassment by men.
- Having sex with men who meet in bars, cafes, discos, etc is an alternative but be careful physical security, especially in third world countries.
- Applications for matchmaking are also a good alternative to having casual sex with men (couples).
- When you will consider swinging, threesomes or orgies, you should keep in mind that you can not put libidinal any object (exchange partner or threesomes or orgy), since making a transfer such may cause pain, suffering, depression, anxiety when the object moves at fault (leaves, cheats, etc.), but it is important to note also that your partner can not do transfer with you, since this creates jealousy and could damage the relationship.
Be selective to have sex with men (couples) eg physically attractive men, money, smart, etc.
The selectivity for sex is one of the symptoms of hysteria, while it is true that the psychic apparatus is to have the best partner for our offspring is most likely to survive, so that selectively seeks the best potential partner (who has more money, more physically attractive, body, smarter, etc.), can deceive the psychic to have a partial happiness, and deceive is to download the sex drive, having sex with any man regardless of it’s disgusting. The superego represses the discharge of the sexual drive, causing pain, suffering, depression, anxiety, and used among many other psychodynamic mechanisms, conceptual rationalization of selectivity, to prevent discharge of the sexual drive, and so suppress it. So that the psychic apparatus says: “I have to have a man with money, attractive, intelligent, etc to have sex with him”, so the mathematical probability of finding a man with these characteristics decreases significantly, leaving a the psychic apparatus excuse not to have sex.
The task is, to have sex with any independent man who has no money, either physically unattractive, unintelligent or any other defect. Women, must have sex with such a man, so they look disgusting, since it is one of the therapeutic techniques to achieve happiness.
Have to have sex with nasty men to be happy
Not always have to have sex with nasty men to be happy, it’s just a technique of systematic desensitization to be declining repression, after having a stronger psychic apparatus, can increase levels of selectivity when choosing a man for sex.
Couples therapy fail
The couples therapy have a high rate of failure, 50% of all couples seeking help with professional end in separation, so the rate of treatment failure is very high.
First of all, take into account that the separation must not be synonymous with treatment failure, couples therapy aims, increase the quality of life of patients, whether increasing the quality of life of patients implies separation, then it is considered that therapy was successful, so there should go to therapy not in order to maintain the relationship, but to improve the quality of life of patients involved in it.
Another problem presented is that we are just beginning to understand how the psychic apparatus, nerve system, mental illness (eg: brain ischemia) schizophrenia or bipolar disorder accompanying relationship problems. So these technical limitations hinder a successful outcome (12-17).
On the other hand, has not been adequately professionalized persons responsible for handling this type of pathology, the coach no scientific expertise, as well as pos psychologists, sexologists, including, psychiatrists doctors although they are best placed to deal couples therapy and they have to study for 6-8 years of medical school a couple of years of boarding school for 3-4 years of specialty in psychiatry, approximately 14 years, and do not have in the curriculum the best tools for give adequate response relationship problems.
Another important factor explaining the therapeutic failure in relationships is the sadomasochistic component of patients, one patient with masochistic impulses in his psychic apparatus, generate a series of conscious or unconscious psychodynamic mechanisms to couples therapy fails and so constantly suffering, this suffering will generate the same joy and the same enjoyment they want to experience, when the couple victimize attributing the cause of their suffering, the psychic apparatus fault repairs and the division you may be feeling to have a masochistic drive, so it’s not her that wants to suffer and make it suffer, but she is the victim and their partners make it suffer. It must take into account the pain and suffering are an outlier added to the psychic apparatus, but even abnormal, is a value that generates enjoyment, and pleasure in the pain, the suffering, the humiliation in depression, in anxiety, etc.
Also the rejection of sex is another unconscious psychodynamic causes that hamper relationships and successful treatment, there are multiple reasons for the rejection psychodynamic sex from female patients, superego structures moral, ethical, religious, cultural , hygiene, biological, genetic, environmental, however it is important for women to know that one of the techniques to overcome the refusal to have sex is to have sex several times a day, every day with many different men, rejection toward sex that will allow happiness in patients thus be desensitized.
How long does love? Does it last forever?
Love does not last forever, love is completed in time, is finite, is temporary, so the relationships are finite, are temporary, do not last forever, so the concept of a partner for the rest of life, is completely illogical, absurd, and should not be considered as an option, should only be thinking about relationships temporary, finite, circumstantial, momentary, transient couple.
On average the most powerful effect of relationships lasts six months, and is determined by the mediation of neurotransmitters such as dopamine, serotonin, endocannabinoids, endorphins, oxytocin, norepinephrine, epinephrine, and many others (18). After this temporary effect of about six months, the effects of neurochemical mediators generated by the beginning of the relationship begin to decrease, to touch minimum values at 2 years of the relationship. However, relationship conflicts, drama, suffering, anxiety, depression, generate an alteration in these neurochemical mediators in the brain, which can give you a new temporary stimulus to the relationship, so that the conflict in partner relationships is a mechanism to prolong the pleasurable effects of neurochemical mediators in the nervous system. Relationship problems, like conflicts, are synonymous with separation and starting a new relationship, which again generate the early effects of falling in love, so that the problems of conscious or unconscious partner, generate an expected return to experience the pleasant sensation of being in love, that explains in large measure because the unconscious of relationships deterioration occurs so frequently.
It is normal to feel identified with some of the symptoms listed personality disorders or other diseases or psychiatric disorders, it is normal, do not worry, we all have personality traits, only if these features become very intense then they begin to generate the impairment in social functioning, so it will be more difficult to function as a couple, but I so properly treated by a psychiatrist, psychodynamic doctor (19-20).
I am grateful to Prof. Dr. Tibaire Gonzalez, for helpful comments in the manuscript.
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